Life scared me more than death did
Posted by Matt Sadler
First, Ian lost his hearing aids. Then, he faced losing his hearing dog. Find out how he addressed these challenges, and his advice for those facing similar, sudden, profound changes in their hearing loss journey...
Today, Ian is inseparable from beloved hearing dog Vectra. “He’s a very sweet and sensitive soul,” he tells us quietly. “He makes me laugh by his general clowning about.”
But life wasn’t always like this.
Indeed, for Ian, life was overwhelmingly challenging before his first hearing dog Hettie – and then when Hettie neared retirement, he faced these challenges again, as the prospect of life without a canine companion loomed large.
Ian explains: “I was a premature baby, which caused my deafness.
“Growing up in the 1970s, the technology wasn’t very sophisticated. I carried a box receiver around my neck, connected to hearing aids. Whoever wanted to speak to me would have a smaller box and a microphone.
“Those hearing aids weren’t ideal, but I managed to learn at school.
“However, the hearing aids started to cause me real problems. I kept getting terrible ear infections. Then, I got a really nasty infection that hospitalised me. After this I was told no more hearing aids.”
So, Ian’s hearing aids, which were a solution of sorts, had been taken away. What impact did this have on him?
“It was a sudden, silent shock. The aids were a backup, even if I could only wear them for a short while. I’d lost the ability to communicate.
“I withdrew into myself and away from the world. I was left alone with my thoughts, and it was scary how dark they became.
“I ended up with really severe mental health problems – isolation, depression and paranoia.
“Life was basically pills and visits to healthcare professionals, who became my only contact with the outside world. I never left the house because I was scared of communicating.”
“One morning, while waiting for my social worker, I noticed a leaflet for Hearing Dogs. On applying, while I did feel nervous, I felt more positive as life seemed to have a goal.
“Hettie came to live with me on 25 June 2005. From that date onwards, instead of tears, there was much laughter.
Hettie and Vectra
“Yes, she enabled me to be aware of sounds such as the doorbell, alarm clock and so on, but the relationship ran deep. She gave me trust and took away my fear.
“Before Hettie, I couldn’t go out as I was fearful of people talking to me, fearful of not being understood or of being misunderstood.
“With Hettie, I felt ten feet tall. I started to look forward to the things I couldn’t do before, simple things like go for a cup of coffee and feel relaxed. I made new friends and found new interests.
“When she woke me up in the morning I could see the love in her eyes. It filled me with joy. She was my bright shining light.”
Clearly Hettie was exactly what Ian needed – a faithful friend, a light in what had become a dark world. However, as Hettie came to the end of her working life, Ian started to become fearful all over again, as he couldn’t imagine how another dog could take on this role.
He continues: “Then I realised, I had changed so much as a person. Hettie helped me to address my mental health challenges. Vectra is a different dog, but I’m also a different person now, with a more positive outlook and a family around me.
“So, Vectra is much more about practically helping me with sounds, and flagging to other people that I’m deaf. Hettie was my saviour that gave me life; Vectra has taken me on a new journey to a more normal and settled family life. I love him dearly.”
After Hettie retired, she continued to live with Ian and his family as a beloved pet. Sadly, she died in 2018.
When Ian talks about a ‘more normal and settled family life’, this is a major achievement. He tells us, with all seriousness: “Simply put, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for my hearing dogs. Life scared me more than death did.”
With the help of his hearing dogs, he’s managed to face his fears, not just once, but twice.
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